Relationships that no longer exist. Relationhips that are no longer working or healthy. Relationships that are over. I learned this, defunct, word at sort of a young age... maybe around the age of 19/20, from a person I had a super close bond with. A young lady who was a dear friend for years.... Who I thought would always be in my life until things didn’t go her way... at the time. Our relationship ended once this person snapped on me in a mall setting, due to my temper she shared. I’ll let you guys in on a little secret.... I’m a lot to deal with. And people who really love and understand me are FULLY AWARE. I’m not saying this to sound like I’m on a high horse or anything, because I too deal with a lot.... but let me continue. She shared with me in her car feelings she never expressed to me before.... the car I’ve ridden in a thousand times.... while the windows fogged up and she ripped me to shreds in my mind (and in reality).... I simply asked her to let me out of her car.... in the middle of a major highway/street in Tampa Florida. I walked about 2.5 or so miles home through our USF campus.... and our relationship died that night....
Many people will probably ask why did I get out of the car instead of just letting her take me home.... the answer is simple.... at the young age of 19 back in 2008 I knew the power of passion + emotion when mixed together. Unicorns I’m the type of person who cannot hurt someone I love out of anger... so instead of lashing back out at her... I removed myself from the situation. And I never spoke to her again. Keep in mind this was someone very important to me, we were joined at the hip in high school.., although from two very different worlds she was my friend. I was always there for her when she needed me, and vice versa. When we went to college, we ended up going to schools close in proximity. Her longtime boyfriend played at UT. She and I made time for one another.... this hit me hard.
If you’re wondering what she said to me in the car.... she said something to me I’ll never forget. She expressed in quite a condescending way of how she hates my temper pretty much... and we kind of went back n forth as I naturally justified my behavior... her last parting shot to me (which mentally pushed me over the edge)... that I’ll never forget... was “And that’s the reason why I don’t f^*$ with you everyday”. Ladies and gentleman hearing those words come from her mouth triggered so many thoughts. My mind and heart were so confused. How could someone I cared so much about- safety, emotional well being, family , you name it... have the nerve to say she picks and chooses when she wants to “f^*$ with” me?
With relationships/friendships unicorns I’m very black & white. It’s very, VERY, hard for me, almost impossible for me to notice the shades of grey on between. I don’t think I have to either. I’m not saying it’s right, however anyone who loves me, if they aren’t... they should be very aware of this. This was the first friendship I experienced failure with. But not the last. My older sister, Shanta, helped me through one other (15 year friendship divorce). Sharing her words of wisdom with regard to things like intent, hidden agendas, etc. I’ll share those stories another time. The dot’s I’m trying to connect here for you unicorns is the importance of removing yourself from these type of situations.
It typically takes time, strength, and focused effort to get yourself out of a situation you no longer want to be involved in. I say typically because my mind and heart have two different gears. One gear, a buddy of mine (Robyn) we laugh at a common principle we share, that I kind of learned it from his wise behind... I don’t give closure. I notice a temperament or behavior that evokes the wrong type of discomfort, and I move on with my life by allowing others to move on with theirs. The situation above with this young lady is an example of gear 1. Unicorns, I’ve had situations resulting in abuse (emotional, sometimes physical) that I’ve had to claw my way out of as well.... where I’ve had to look within to extricate myself... these situations tend to be a little more complex, and is the second gear I have been trying to master.
I’d love to share in more detail the ways I’ve had to learn to disentangle myself. If you take anything away from this blog entry please take away the following three things. I know it sounds cliche- the whole know when to hold em and when to fold em mentality. Anyways, there are some relationships worth sticking around for, where we gain from riding tough situations out. Meaning we make it through difficult/ tough situations with people we care about without any serious issues or problems resulting. Sometimes you have you “know your worth” as a lot of our old heads say and cut your losses. That’s right unicorns, get out of bad situations before they get worse.... because I’m here to tell you, they always get worse... DO NOT STICK AROUND TOXIC SITUATIONS TO SEE IF THEY’LL GET BETTER... because they won’t. Lastly survive unicorns. You heard me... KEEP LIVING. The sun will always come out again. You will still exist, often times better than before... after that bond has been destroyed or become defunct.
P.s. I have a dream unicorns. Just like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I will live it, I want you guys to do the same. Happy holidays. Hope to catch up with you guys and gals soon. Let’s get interactive and let me know what you guys think below. Remember how awesome... pretty... and handsome your minds, bodies, and spirits are. Peace ☮️
-The 6 Foot Unicorn